September 30th
I was trapped inside most of the day, the smell of some artificial floral vapor moves up into the windows of my studio and dulls my brain as I struggle to stay on amid radio static and the contant rumble of the train lines that churn past at all hours of the day. I hastily boarded the 6:30 evening cargo wagon, sneaking in along with a crew of other uniformed men on official business at the water monitoring institutes along the harbor.
The harbor smelled of dead and rotting fish. The water was invisibly deep, turned brown with yet another oil spill, and yet yachts and private boats still bobbed on top of fish carcasses and algae that seems to be trying to crawl up onto the shore.
There seemed to be a lot of activity for weekday, and armed guards patrolled the streets. I gave an obligatory nod and checked my composure in the reflection of the building around the corner I felt compelled to turn down in order to avoid trouble. I kept walking in the same direction as long as I could, where the markets began to turn into abandoned homes. Though it seems they were made abandoned by force, as I walk down a quiet and empty street, I think I hear footsteps behind me but there are no souls. I wonder if I am going crazy and I pick at the skin on my hand. This is the most at peace I felt all night. Before long, I found myself walking in circles and the factory plumes and roar of trains in and out of the depot made it impossible to get a breath of fresh air.
It is almost dark out by the time; I find a train that is headed back to my area of the city. It passes the old villas of the last centuries kings. I stare at the statues of a man wielding a sword and think of the generals being called to the capital only a four day walk away, and I wonder why I sold my mule and where he is now.
I came here with an idealism, that I don’t know if I have anymore and a song humming on my shoulder, “I’m walking down the line…my feet’ll be fine, I’ll tell ya about my troubled mind” It was a different time, when a brief uprising has installed a ruler with seemingly supportive views for the people of this long and dry land mass. How quickly they were beat back down, and now I am stuck in the city until I find employment or until I run out of my savings and have to return home, back to square one.